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About Creating a Ceremony

There's something special and important about wanting to gather your community (as large or small as it may be) to bear witness to a significant event or transition.

A ceremony or rite of passage, when done well, carries you with grace from one stage of life to another.

Times change; the basic human need for honoring a transition remains.
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Some thoughts on creating a ceremony:
  • I believe that ceremonies and rites of passage serve deep personal, communal, and spiritual purposes. They can be full of laughter and fun, but they should be undertaken with respect, intention, and care.
  • Pre-written or traditional rituals are fantastic IF they work for you. But they don't work lots of people, for lots of valid reasons. It's perfectly okay to create something that's meaningful to you.
  • In planning your ceremony, it's important to acknowledge what came before you: your roots and your ancestral past, if you know them. This includes appreciating the good parts of your ancestral past while also acknowledging oppressive or problematic history. It's all part of one big whole, and none of us can really move forward unless we're honest about what came before. This doesn't have to be made into a big fuss during a ceremony, but it's important to bear in mind. 
  • It's essential to link the ceremony to its location upon the earth. Think about where you want it to be, bearing in mind cost and logistical constraints. It's also good to acknowledge the traditional, indigenous owners of the land your ceremony will take place on. 
  • In endeavoring to create newer, more true-to-you ceremonies, we must not appropriate other traditions or cultures. There are common components to most ceremonies across religions and cultures. It's okay - actually, it's wise - to implement these universal components as guidelines for good ceremonies, as long as we're mindful not to co-opt specifics from other cultures. 
  • I consider laughter as welcome in ceremonies as tears of joy or sorrow. But this isn't about me, it's about you. 

I believe in kindness. Also in mischief. -Mary Oliver


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